“If you aren’t living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.” – Alan Zimmerman I’ve been thinking about we challenge clients as though their life is at stake. Because that’s why we coach – for the sake of their life. Their one blessed life! How do we honor people right where they are and at the same time, challenge them to move into greater connection with themselves and their calling? One way to challenge people is to make outrageous requests that take them to new levels of awareness or action. We all have moments when we fall asleep at the wheel of life. A bucket of water thrown in the face can be boldly refreshing, as long as we have trust and we’ve given each other permission to call each other forth. The purpose of challenging people can be to: Wake them up! Challenge them to play a bigger game Let them know we believe in them Expand their scope of what’s possible Get them excited about the future A challenge is not about what I want you to do, but about holding you to what you want. A few examples of life-serving challenges: I challenge you to go after what you want and co-create the ideal relationship this week. For the next week, only say yes to things that you feel 100% “yes” in your body. Use a journal all day to translate every single judgment into your feelings and needs. Make ten phone calls by Friday to explore your ideal profession. You want to learn about resolving conflict? So put the word out that you’re offering a workshop on Conflict Resolution, and then prepare to teach it. Ask seven people to support you in completing your goal. Without being attached to our challenges, we give people the option to say, yes, no, or make a counter offer. If they don’t hesitate to say yes, we probably haven’t given them a big enough challenge. Ideally they tweak it and make it their own.

Martha Lasley is a founder of Leadership that Works, home of the Coaching for Transformation program that offers an ICF accredited coach training certification geared toward supporting nonprofit leaders and social change activists. As a certified trainer in Nonviolent Communication, Martha and her team at LeadershipthatWorks.comoffer programs in New York, San Francisco and Toronto. You can read more about these topics in her book, Facilitating with Heart.Coaching Certification Training, Coaching Program in New York and Coaching schools