Leaders and managers who learn and integrate coaching skills are able to change their mindset from boss to coach. The chart below illustrates the changes that are possible when leaders empower others through coaching. From Boss Invokes fear to achieve compliance Looks for problems to solve Makes demands Controls through power Knows the answer Points out mistakes Delegates responsibility Believes knowledge is power Issues directives Sees people as “costs” to minimize To Coach Shares power to stimulate creativity Looks for strengths to leverage Makes requests Facilitates by empowering Seeks the answer Celebrates learning Establishes accountability Believes vulnerability is power Engages in dialogue Sees people as “assets” to develop Of all of these, “Believes vulnerability is power” is usually the most difficult to embody. It’s one thing to believe it, another to live it. No matter how committed we are to open communication, few of us expose our vulnerability unless we feel absolutely safe. Integrity and honesty are the most often cited values, but it’s impossible to communicate honestly without vulnerability. If we hide part of who we are, and put on a show of bravado, trust deteriorates. But when we integrate vulnerability with direct honesty, defensive posturing shifts into open, empathic connection. When we can create a culture of shared vulnerability, people become less guarded and collaboration flourishes. Leadership requires the courage to act authentically. Making ourselves vulnerable inspires people to reciprocate, deepens our connection with each other, which allows all of us to engage more fully with our work.

Martha Lasley is a founder of Leadership that Works, home of the Coaching for Transformation program that offers an ICF accredited coach training certification geared toward supporting nonprofit leaders and social change activists. As a certified trainer in Nonviolent Communication, Martha and her team at LeadershipthatWorks.comoffer programs in New York, San Francisco and Toronto. You can read more about these topics in her book, Facilitating with Heart.Coach training in New York, Coach Certification in San Francisco and coaching seminars