Wishes are very different from goals. We can help clients realize their dreams by giving them a chance to become aware of what’s important about their dreams, before setting goals. Envisioning the desired outcomes and connecting with the values and needs drives the process. When clients know why their goals matter, their choices and the path become much more compelling. Instead of setting goals that please parents, the boss, or others, we can coach people to identify their own needs. A common way to set goals is to use the SMART acronym, which becomes much more powerful when we engage the heart in the process.

Specific: The more specific the goal, the easier it is to implement and enlist support from others. Start by asking, “What would make your heart sing? What desired outcomes do you envision?” and refine the goal until it is concise, simple and clear.

Measurable: Measurable goals establish concrete criteria for determining progress and completion. Not only do you have the data to support staying on track, but you can celebrate the achievement of milestones, building momentum along the way. If a client states, “I want to become a better leader,” ask, “How will you know you have achieved your goal?”

Attainable: Set the bar high, but ensure the goals are doable. Unrealistic goals can de-motivate rather than inspire us. Ask, “What’s a stretch, but still attainable?”

Relevant: Without a sense of what makes the goal important, people rarely commit to or realize their goals. Ask, “What values does the goal honor? What will the goal get you? What meaning does the goal have? How does this goal make a difference for you or others? What impact will it have?”

Time-Bound: A useful and motivating goal is grounded within a timeframe and answers the question, “By when?” Without a timeframe or completion date, there is no sense of urgency and no real commitment to the goal. A timeframe sets a clear intention of the desired completion date. A goal to reduce hunger is meaningless without specifics and dates. “Let’s expand the soup kitchen,” sounds very different from, “Let’s feed 20% more people starting in March.”

Of the five, the most important is that the goal is relevant, that the goal matters to the people implementing them. Anybody can achieve a goal, but if they’ve chosen goals that aren’t compelling, what’s the point? If you want to support people in achieving worthwhile goals, spend more time exploring the relevancy. By engaging the heart, implementation and actualization come much more easily and wishes become reality.

Martha Lasley is a founder of Leadership that Works, home of the Coaching for Transformation program that offers an ICF accredited coach training certification geared toward supporting nonprofit leaders and social change activists. As a certified trainer in Nonviolent Communication, Martha and her team at LeadershipthatWorks.com offer programs in New York, San Francisco and Toronto. You can read more about these topics in her book, Facilitating with Heart.

leadership coaching, Nonviolent communication training